i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Two words: nipple clamps
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