I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
honey bunches of taint.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
