Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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