what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
