We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
