Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
