i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
