currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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