Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
