hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
