i think my tv is drunk
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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