We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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