Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Success! We fucked roommates!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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