You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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