im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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