No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
