i was born a porn star she said
I wish i was in the wii world.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
