We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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