My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
