I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
