i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
