my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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