Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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