We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
