Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
