I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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