Me too!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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