im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
