I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
