He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
