My friends, they love my intelligence
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
