I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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