Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the raccoons are back...
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