Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
time to smoke my breakfast
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
