the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
