thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
