THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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