where am i from again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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