yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
