I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
