Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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