three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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