she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
