just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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