He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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