maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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