You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
