I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
