I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
