i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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