Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
