would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
